Focus: Must be Learned but Can't be Taught. What can you do?

Focus is a hot topic, with good reason: like all foundational skills it isn’t innate, we're not born with it, so it must be learned - and it cannot be taught.  So what can you do?

You can’t tell someone to focus more or better and expect they’ll be able to do it. You can’t tell them what you do, because your path and is unique to you - and more to the point, you probably don’t even know how or why you focus, what makes the difference between doing it or not. You just know that you get better results when you’re able to do it, and that you’re more frustrated and time-poor when you don’t.

So how do we help someone learn this Seed Skill that we all know is key to a successful, easy and fulfilled life?

I’m not talking about hyper-focus to the exclusion of everything else, but functional, balanced focus which you can easily shift and hold for as long as you choose.

This is about being in power, in control of your own body and mind.

It’s about being able to say “I want to do this” and being able to carry it out.

The first thing to remember is that focus is not just about honing in and narrowing down, but about having the choice and flexibility between laser-focus and broad-focus, and the freedom to shift focus when you choose. It’s crucial to know that there are the two types, and most people miss this point.

Secondly, although not innate, focus develops naturally when given the opportunity to do so.

Thirdly, like all Seed Skills, focus develops from the bottom up and inside out:

- Someone who learns to direct their eyes will have an easier time focusing their mind.

- Babies learn to focus on their hands before expanding that skill out onto the world.

- Steady focus is learned before the ability to track and shift focus from one object or task to another at will.

If you or someone you know struggles with focus, try this simple 7-step progression you can do almost anywhere and any time:

STAGE I

1. Stare at your eyes in the mirror for a count of 5, then 10, 30, 85. This provides a great biofeedback - even a child will know if they’re looking at their eyes or if they’ve wandered away (some people benefit from occasional external prompts, eg “Are you still looking at your eyes?”)

(Selfie mode on a screen can be used if no mirror is available)

2. Notice how things change when you extend the time.  What happens in your body? (It’s best for the person to count for themselves - even if they can only count to 5 or 10, they can repeat it a number of times.)

3. Notice how much of your surrounds you can be aware of while looking at your own eyes. Do you start off needing to be hyper-focused? Does it feel tense and forced at the start? And then can you expand your field of awareness as the act of focusing becomes more relaxed, so you can be aware of both your eyes and what’s around?

This last point is important. People who are easily distracted or so hyper-focused that they lose awareness of what’s going on around them, lack this nuance of the skill.

4. Once you’re good with the mirror, move onto other people’s eyes and other objects. A candle flame is a great start, as it seems to naturally hold human attention. Try it with anything in your environment, as many times as you can through the day. Waiting for the kettle to boil, standing in line - use any opportunity.

Play games with your children. Stare at each other’s eyes or have competitions about who can stare at something for longer.

Notice what happens in your body and nervous system as you do this.

STAGE II

5. Back in front of a mirror, this time keep looking at your eyes as you turn your head side-to-side. This is about learning to FEEL your eyes moving inside your head.

Most people who lose focus (both visual and mental) aren’t aware that their focus has shifted.  This is a step towards building awareness.

6. Now progress to tracking a small mirror or the back of a spoon. How long can you hold focus while you move it yourself? What about if you get someone else to move it? (more difficult as you don’t know where it’s going next)

7. Once again, take notice of how much of your surrounds you can be aware of as your skill improves.

This stage expands focus to tracking: whether an object, line of print on a page, or a chain of thoughts.

STAGE III

7. You’re ready to start shifting focus at will. Choose two points and “jump” your eyes back and forth.

a. shifting focus from one eye to the other in the mirror or selfie-mode

b. larger objects not far from each other

c. smaller objects further apart

d. for extra challenge, use 3 or more objects to shift between

e. TRY THIS for extra skill-building:

While looking at one object, become aware of the next one in the periphery and use your imagination to plan your move BEFORE shifting your eyes - what’s the distance and direction your gaze will have to jump? This extra step of “pre-planning” before “leaping” has many flow-on effects - see if you can feel what they are.

Once again, take note of how much or your surrounds you can be aware of as you get better at the activity.

I guarantee that if you do this for yourself or with your children consistently for a couple of weeks - moving from the easiest stage to the most advanced - you’ll notice effects in focusing both visually and mentally. As any skill, the more practice, the more wired-in it becomes.

Now that you know the gist of it, why not have a go at making up your own games and activities? I'm happy to take a look at any you come up with to ensure they work towards the result we're wanting to achieve.

PLEASE NOTE: There are Skills that develop before focus and form the foundation for this set of skills. For example, a person who doesn’t know where they are in space may have trouble determining the distance and direction of other objects. In this case, developing the other skills first will make these focus tasks come more naturally. To get the full picture, get in touch to be informed of the next 7-Seeds masterclass coming up.

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